Feeling invisible? How to create confidence and charisma naturally!

What do you want to be when you grow up? Were you one of these kids who knew exactly what to answer when the grown-ups asked you this? Were you like my sister who knew from a very young age that she had a passion for writing, or did you see yourself as a doctor, or a vet or a famous tennis player or like my brother who from the tender age of 2 wanted to be a train driver!….Or was your answer a forlorn “I don’t know”.

I hate feeling like everyone else in the world knows exactly what they want, where they are going and how they are getting there – or they don’t really know and they don’t seem to care. Some people seem quite content to live in an non-inspired state. I don’t have a lot in common with this latter group.


My mother always used to say I would have been so much happier as a chemist assistant rather than being ambitious and bright and energetic but not being clear about what I wanted to do when I grew up. Study hard, get a good education, get a degree, get a second degree, get a job, get married, have children, buy a house and be happy. This was the edict I grew up with.

Well today I can honestly say I am extremely grateful for being ambitious, determined and energetic as I have just completed my first ever half marathon run and even with a calf muscle not being 100% I stuck it out and finished the 21km on just under 3 hours.

And that natural feeling of happiness that comes with the flooding of the body with endorphins has a lot to do with my inspired mental state all day today in spite of my legs feeling very sore and stiffening by the minute.

So yesterday and for several days this week I was overwhelmed by that feeling of being invisible, uncomfortable and lost and could not be further from Confident and Charismatic if I tried. Where was my sense of worthiness and self esteem? It had all but disappeared. And for no obvious reason – the net result however I was feeling the overwhelm that comes when I find myself in “I’m not good enough”.


So what changed then, apart from the natural feel good hormones which are released with sustained exercise. I made choices to do things which can influence change. And by focussing on those things, like my exercise and food choices in this instance, I was naturally drawn toward things that make me feel good and are good for me. By default almost I was left with very little time to put energy into things I can’t change. And importantly, because I have been in action about things that I can influence I have not spent a lot of time or headspace thinking, worrying, and doing the endless”what if” analyses that I often do when I’m trying to make decisions.


Where my focus goes – my energy goes. This means that if I’m running for my life for 3 hours I’m not spending that time thinking about what I should focus on in my business or what is not quite right in my life. Now whilst it’s not practical to spend 3 hours per day everyday doing exercise – we certainly can dedicate 30 minutes to 1 hour for physical self care. Mornings are the best time for exercise and I find its the best way to start my day.

Play at 100%

And how I do one thing is how I do everything – I read that in Jack Canfield’s book “The Success Principles”.  I have heard this before in different circles I am really beginning to understand what it really means today. Putting the focus on self care to start the day sets the precedence beautifully to put equal degree of care and diligence into the daily tasks at hand.

I gave that half marathon absolutely everything I had – I set the intention to run as much of it as I can only slowing to a walk at the drink stations and if I absolutely had to. So when I finished I was 100% spent, there was not another step left in me. I had totally played at 100%. It did not matter how many people had passed me along the way – and there were thousands – and equally it did not matter how many people were coming in behind me or how many were walking or running. I had given it my absolute best shot. I felt totally confident and worthy about what I had brought to the race today. In this way I am feeling totally confident and charismatic without affirming or willing myself to be so. Because I had decided on my race strategy – and I was fully OK with the prospect of retiring early if my legs were hurting too much due to my injuries – I was totally satisfied with my net result.My sense of success was not dependent solely on completing the race – I was more focussed on the intention and allowing space for things beyond my control. In this way I was not trying to control the uncontrollable. If you leg was not up to completing the run  – I would simply have to stop.

Stay the Distance

I had decided my course of action and followed it through to the very end – this is the key – follow through, staying the course and staying in action through “normal pain”.

What is your threshold for pain? This is important. Do you give up at the earliest feeling of uncomfortableness? Do you retreat when you start to get noticed and get self conscious and go back into the shadows? Do you give up when you try a few new things and you don’t quite get the results you want immediately? We do live in an instant gratification society today – the internet, smart phones, expectations for immediate replies and decisions. When was the last time you wrote an old fashioned letter to someone?

Confidence & Charisma

My point is this – Confidence and Charisma can be your natural default if you are clear on your strategies, action choices and track that you are running on. Feelings of high self worth and self esteem come naturally when we are doing things that are aligned with our core values. Or more simply – when we love what we do our heart sings. The energy we feel and that others pick up on is Confidence and natural Charisma.

If you are not Confident and feeling your true joy of worthiness – contact me below and let’s connect for a chat. I have worked through my own quagmire of life choices and am creating a life of passion purpose and power today. Confidence and charisma are inside of you waiting to be expressed as your natural self. You deserve to love your life and yourself. Its written in your DNA – and it can be accessed and brought to life faster with a little help from a trusted experienced friend.

If you have enjoyed this story – share this with friends, visit and like my page and join my group on Facebook and let’s connect! Life is too short to stay invisible and live in mediocrity.